The Intention Spectrum, Burying Talents, and The Humility-Confidence Connection
The Disciple-Leader Newsletter // June 11, 2023
Discipleship // Leadership // Mental Performance. The best from this week.
DISCIPLESHIP
"You should not identify yourself as a disciple of Jesus Christ unless you intend to represent Him well."
Dale G. Renlund
Intend is the keyword here. Intending doesn’t mean flawless execution. But it doesn't imply any casualness either.
On discipleship’s 'state-of-your-heart' spectrum, intending and pretending sit at two opposing poles.
At its worst, someone might be fully faking their discipleship. Their outward behavior attempts to mask their inward feelings. The scriptures refer to this as hypocrisy.
"Among those among you, saith the Lord, who have professed to know my name and have not known me …" (D&C 112:26)
"Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity." (Matt. 23:28)
"Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men." (Isaiah 29:13)
Jesus speaks extensively on hypocrites. Based on scriptural text (of which these verses are only 3 of a large number), it's safe to conclude that hypocrisy before God is worse than not pretending at all.
At its best, someone would be embracing their discipleship to its fullest extent. Nephi contrasts these two poles––pretending vs. intending––powerfully when he said: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent … then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost."
As mortals, we see so myopically. We think the fronts we put on to fake out family, friends, and followers might even fake out God. Foolishness.
"The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
Every moment of every day, your heart is somewhere on this spectrum between pretending and intending. Where do you lean? Are you fully settled? Or are you holding back? Today's a great day to examine yourself and remember the clear expectations God has set for His disciples: “The Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind" (D&C 64:34).
LEADERSHIP
"Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others. When you use your passion in service of others, it becomes a purpose."
Jay Shetty
Passions bless yourself. But leadership isn't about doing things for yourself. Find a way to use it for others. Find a way to use it to make an actual difference in somebody’s life. Discover that, and you’ve discovered one of your life’s purposes.
Jesus put it this way:
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matt. 5:16)
"With some, I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths, but they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man … wherefore, I give unto them a commandment, thus: Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known." (D&C 60: 2,13)
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
"Kobe Bryant worked like he had no talent, then he played like he believed he was the best player in the world. Prepare with humility; perform with confidence."
Julie Fournier
Arguably the biggest misconception in mental performance is the idea that humility and confidence are in opposition to one another. If you were to think of the poster child of humility and the poster child of confidence, you probably wouldn't think of the same person. Your two examples would probably be strikingly different from each other.
That shouldn’t be the case.
The greatest example of both qualities is Jesus. His humility was highlighted by His total dependence on His Father. He acknowledged over and over from where and whom His power came. Born of that humility, came his uncompromising confidence. When Satan tried to fill his mind with doubt, Jesus didn’t flinch. When faced with threats and mobs, Jesus was poised. When His best friends couldn’t watch with Him for even one hour and He was left all alone, He had full confidence in his ability to accomplish what God had put Him on Earth to do.
Humility and confidence both have two interrelated aspects to them. The God-aspect and the individual aspect. They affect each other.
Humility is recognizing and appreciating God's character, perfections, and attributes. By not reveling or worshipping yourself, but reveling in and worshipping God. The individual aspect of humility is the Kobe example: working and preparing harder than anyone else. Humility is not allowing any room for pride, arrogance, or complacency to creep in.
Confidence comes from the application of our adoration for God. Emulation is adoration, applied. You spend time thinking of Him, learning about Him, and seeking a personal connection with Him. You submit your will to His. You "rely wholly upon the merits of (Christ)". When you do this, your confidence soars. Not because of anything you did, but because of everything He did. Your confidence is grounded in God.
Just like this God-confidence is a direct fruit of your humbling yourself before God, your self-confidence also comes as a direct fruit of how you prepared with humility. When preparing with humility (a la Kobe), you are not just trying to convince yourself that you believe in yourself, you actually generate evidence for that belief.
For example, I can tell myself, "I'm great at basketball. I believe in myself." But that confidence isn't earned. I don't have evidence to support that belief. Without that evidence, my self-belief will crumble when it really matters. If I shoot 500 shots/day and see consistent improvement, I can then say, "I'm great at basketball. I believe in myself" and actually believe that statement. The evidence generated from the unseen hours gives weight to those words. It breeds confidence.
Anglican philosopher Austin Farrer said it best: “Though argument does not create conviction, the lack of it destroys belief … What no one shows the ability to defend is quickly abandoned." In this case, I'd switch the word argument for evidence. Without it, your self-belief is abandoned when it matters most.
My two favorite statements on the relationship between humility and confidence are the above quote by Julie Fournier about Kobe, and this one from St. Augustine: “Pray as though everything depended on God; work as though everything depended on you.”
James Clear said, “Fake it till you make it is asking you to believe something without having evidence for it. And there’s a word for beliefs that don’t have evidence, it’s called delusion. At some point, the brain doesn’t like that. There’s this conflict there. What I’m saying is a little bit different, which is to let the action lead the way … I think identities need proof, they need evidence, to actually be believed and held. Whatever identity you have right now, you believe it because you have evidence of it from your past.”
In summary:
Greater Humility ––> Greater Confidence. Greater Confidence ––> Better Performance.
Less Humility ––> Less Confidence. Less Confidence ––> Worse Performance.
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.
Aaron @ The Disciple-Leader