The Disciple-Leader Newsletter // 5 Favorites From 2023
In 2023, there were 148 sections of The Disciple-Leader newsletter sent out (3 per email -- discipleship, leadership, and mental performance).
Here are 5 of my favorites from 2023.
#1
“Being gifted is great. As long as your gift doesn't become your God.”
Noah Herrin
Your god is whatever you worship. You might say that you worship God, but what do you really worship?
David Foster Wallace taught this brilliant insight: "In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship."
The original Webster's dictionary defined worship as "to adore". Jesus said, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Russell M. Nelson taught, "Take an inventory of how you spend your time and where you devote your energy. That will tell you where your heart is."
Thus, whatever our heart is set upon, that is what we worship. That is our god.
Certain things are really tempting to set our hearts upon and worship. Here are a few:
Dreams, Goals, Aspirations
Career Success
Money
Notoriety
A Significant Other
Politics
Sports
I love that Jesus used the word "treasure". You know deep down what you really treasure. What you really care about. The thing that occupies your mind most often. Don't get me wrong ... all these things are great. Dreams, aspirations, money, politics, sports, etc. They are great as long as they don't become your God.
If you want to know what it looks like to make God your god, this teaching is the best I've found:
"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 37).
This is what worshipping God looks like. This is what treasuring Him looks like.
#2
“Whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands on the family, it lives.”
Howard W. Hunter
If Jesus lays his hands upon your heart, it lives.
If Jesus lays his hands upon your mind, it lives.
If Jesus lays his hands upon your gift/talent, it lives.
If Jesus lays his hands upon your leadership, it lives.
If Jesus lays his hands upon your faith, it lives.
The enlivening power of Jesus Christ is unleashed in as many aspects of your life as you allow Him to touch. For those who’ve entered into covenants with God, He has promised access to the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Can the Holy Ghost really enliven every aspect of your life?
“The Gift of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all … attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections and adapts them by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. It tends to give health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.” – Parley P. Pratt
God eagerly awaits to bless you in every aspect of your life. Christ’s enlivening power is available. Blessings like these are yours to secure but are made conditional on your asking for them.
#3
“The biggest battle that you have is with yourself. What you say to me when you tell me what I can or can’t do will not affect me or discourage me unless I allow it to. If you want to get to your dreams, if you want to accomplish your goals, you have to be able to deal with yourself. Stay positive. Don’t talk to yourself in a negative way. Continue to stay on your path. Continue to get better and better and better.”
Kobe Bryant
According to the Cleveland Health Clinic, the human brain processes 70,000 thoughts per day.
EACH DAY. That’s astounding.
In his book Chatter, psychologist Ethan Kross wrote, “Our verbal stream of thought is so industrious that according to one study, we internally talk to ourselves at a rate equivalent to speaking four thousand words per minute out loud. To put this in perspective, consider that contemporary American presidents’ State of the Union speeches normally run around six thousand words and last over an hour. Our brains pack nearly the same verbiage into a mere sixty seconds. This means that if we’re awake for sixteen hours on any given day, as most of us are, and our inner voice is active about half of that time, we can theoretically be treated to about 320 State of the Union addresses each day.”
The most important conversations you have each day are with yourself. And you have a lot of them. How do you speak to yourself? If you spoke to a family member or friend the way that you speak to yourself, would they still be your friend?
For most of us, probably not. Our brains have a negativity bias. We talk so critically about ourselves, to ourselves. Psychologist, Rick Hanson, explained it this way: “The mind is like Velcro for negative (thoughts) and Teflon for positive ones.”
It takes deliberate practice to rewire our brains away from our negativity bias towards a positive, optimistic bias. It’s something we must do.
If we have 70,000 thoughts and let’s say even just 1/10 are negative, that’s 7,000 negative thoughts about yourself every day. For a disciple who is trying to develop “the mind of Christ” (1 Cor 2:16), that has to change.
While there are many ways to try to rewire your brain, start with this: Don’t talk to yourself in a negative way. Whenever you have a negative thought, intentionally think of something positive about yourself. Make it a habit. It takes time. But try it! Don’t let a negative thought enter your mind without fighting it. Change it. See yourself as Christ does.
#4
“Think about the following questions: What values drive your actions? Who has qualities that align with yours, and what are they? What makes you feel that you’re performing at your best? How do you want to live your life? Write down your answers, and look for what they have in common. Use the words that stand out to you to come up with your personal philosophy. Then commit to living by it.”
Michael Gervais
During his introductory press conference, BYU men’s basketball coach Mark Pope was asked, “What are realistic expectations in your first year as head coach?”
His response: “I don’t deal in realistic expectations.”
That BYU team ended up being projected as a 5 seed in the infamous NCAA tournament which never happened due to COVID. Multiple analysts predicted a final-four appearance for that team. ESPN's simulation even placed BYU in the National Championship game.
Pope’s statement is one among many that the BYU basketball team lives by. BYU has a “Word Wall” — an actual wall in their facility with 26 different words or phrases on it. These words are also printed on the back of their team shirts. Everyone in the organization is constantly stimulated with these words.
The New York Jets do a similar thing, except they only have 1 team mantra: All Gas No Brake. Wherever you go in the facility, you see that messaging. Whenever you are in a meeting, you hear that messaging. They've designed their facility as a constant reminder of their core message. It is constantly in the forefront of their mind.
It’s worth considering, if organizations at the highest levels of professional and intercollegiate competition have such a laser focus on drilling a core message into their team's minds to lift their performance, why wouldn’t you do the same for yourself?
Just like organizations and teams have a culture or a mantra, you need to have a personal culture. A personal culture will be like BYU’s word wall. It’ll include statements that represent who you are, what you believe, and how you want others to experience you.
As an example, here is a portion of my personal culture.
If you don’t have a written, personal culture, create one! Once it’s written on paper, inscribe it on your mind (memorize it), then write it on the fleshy tables of your heart by living those ideals.
A personal culture acts as a filter for your thoughts, decisions, and life in general. You can measure everything you think and do against your personal culture. In other words, you choose your culture and your culture chooses your thoughts and actions. If a thought or action is in alignment with your culture, you've got a green light. If it's out of alignment, your choice is already made.
Its length will depend on your personality. I like mine longer. So does BYU. The NY Jets like it short and sweet. More important than length is your commitment to the standards you decide on. Finally, here are a few general principles about your personal culture:
Your personal culture sets the tone for what you believe, how you behave, and the experience your behavior produces for others.
Everyone has a personal culture. If you haven't clearly articulated and specified yours, you might not think you have one. But you do. Whether by design or default, we all have one. Design yours.
There is a mutually reinforcing process between your culture and your behavior. Your culture informs your behavior. Your behavior reinforces your culture.
Someone has said, "There is a profound difference between a concept in your head and a belief on your heart. When a belief is truly core, when it is fully and completely on your heart, then it will drive everything you do. You will respond in alignment with that belief no matter the event or situation. But if it is simply a concept in your head, if it is just a quote you find inspiring, then it will not consistently drive your actions. Especially not in response to difficult, challenging situations. Culture is what leads when no one is watching."
Your culture has to be on your mind constantly. Create an environment for yourself where you are able to think about it and be reminded of it often.
#5
“Every single good thing I’ve unlocked in my life came from overcoming the fear of looking stupid as a beginner.”
Dickie Bush
We all are victims of what psychologists call the Spotlight Effect. The Spotlight Effect is the phenomenon where we perceive that other people are thinking about us WAY more than they actually are. There are lots of negative consequences from our falling victim to this, but almost all of them involve actions made out of fear and self-consciousness.
Too often, we make fear-based decisions due to overestimating how often and what people are thinking of us. The cold truth: 99.9999999999999999% of the world isn’t thinking about you. And the ones that are aren’t thinking about you that often.
So stop worrying. Make decisions based on what makes you happy.
Remember:
Nobody is judging you for trying something new. Nobody thinks you are an imposter. They are way too busy thinking about themselves.
“You’ll never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You’ll always be criticized by someone doing less. Remember that.” – Denzel Washington
Don’t listen to criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.
People project their insecurities. If your attempt at something new brings on gossip/criticism from others, you can chalk it up to their insecurity. It is a reflection on them, not you.
BONUS
Jesus’ physical appearance has been described by some who’ve seen Him as the following:
“I looked and behold a certain man clothed in linen, whose loins were girded with fine gold … His body also was like the beryl, and his face as the appearance of lightning, and his eyes as lamps of fire … the voice of his words like the voice of a multitude.” – (Daniel, Daniel 10).
“At midday … I saw in the way a light from heaven, above the brightness of the sun, shining round about me … and I said, who art thou, Lord? And he said, I am Jesus.” (Paul, Acts 26).
“We saw the Lord standing upon the breastwork of the pulpit, before us; and under his feet was a paved work of pure gold, in color like amber. His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of His head was white like the pure snow; His countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters.” – Joseph Smith
I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air.” – Joseph Smith
As description-defying as Christ’s physical attributes are, His internal attributes are just as bright and glorious.
Jesus has a perfect brightness of hope (2 Nephi 31:20).
A perfect brightness of kindness.
A perfect brightness of empathy.
A perfect brightness of truth.
A perfect brightness of creativity.
A perfect brightness of grace.
A perfect brightness of compassion.
A perfect brightness of power.
A perfect brightness of ___ (you add the attribute of His, and He has a perfect brightness of it).
Every attribute of His shines above the brightness of the sun.
Think about it: That Being of perfect brightness wants nothing more than to have as close and meaningful a relationship with and connection to you as you’ll allow.
What are you waiting for?
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.