Prime Time, Earning The Right To Lead, The Spotlight Effect
Newsletter #15 on May 6, 2023.
Discipleship // Leadership // Mental Performance. The best from this week.
DISCIPLESHIP
“If marriage is a prime relationship in our lives, it deserves prime time."
Russell M. Nelson
Like marriage, if our relationship with God is a prime relationship in our lives, it deserves prime time.
No relationship in our lives is of more value than our relationship with God. It is the prime relationship.
If a random stranger were to audit our daily allocation of time, what would our choices reveal to them about our feelings toward God? Would they think we value our relationship with Him?
It can be easy to neglect our relationship with Him, given how many responsibilities we have, not to mention the world of distraction we live in.
So how can we give God the prime time He deserves?
Let's look at how Jesus handled it. Nobody was busier than Jesus. As his apostles reported to him, "All men seek for thee." Everyone wanted His time, and He only had so much to give. On this specific day, His schedule was packed:
He traveled (by foot) to a new town
He preached in multiple synagogues
He cast out devils
He healed a leper
Not to mention the other daily necessities (like eating multiple meals) that aren't recorded.
Packed day! So how did He find prime time for His Father? The Bible records, "In the morning, rising up a great while before the day, He went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed."
Jesus felt the fatigue of mortality. No doubt he felt the temptation we all feel to sleep in and say, "I'll give God my time tomorrow." But even on days when He was extremely busy, He made it a priority to connect with The Father.
On a day when He just didn't have the time, He made the time.
One theologian observed, "To see his life as he might make it, man must go up alone into the mountains of spiritual thought as Christ went alone into the Garden, leaving the world to get strength to live in the world. He must there breathe the fresh, pure air of recognition of his divine importance as an individual, and with mind purified and tingling with new strength he must approach the problems of his daily living."
We need this kind of connection with God, daily.
Prime time with God is our opportunity to get to know Him. The more we know Him, the more we learn about ourselves. We begin to see ourselves as He sees us … recognizing our diving importance, true identity, and everlasting potential.
LEADERSHIP
“If a Christian is not willing to rise early and work late, to expend greater effort in diligent study and faithful work, that person will not change a generation. Fatigue is the price of leadership. Mediocrity is the result of never getting tired.”
J. Oswald Sanders
Following a tough loss, the media asked a college basketball coach what went wrong with his team. He responded, “You have to earn the right to win. We didn’t earn that right.”
Certain things in life must be earned. And if the work isn’t put in to earn them, they will never be obtained.
You have to earn the right to live where you live. If you don’t pay your rent/mortgage, you lose that right.
You have to earn the right for someone to fall in love with you. If you don’t put in the time and effort with your partner, they won’t be in love with you.
You have to earn the right to win. If you don’t put in the work, you lose that right.
Authority can be given. But leadership can't be given. It must be earned. You earn the right to lead. People don't just follow you because you've been given authority. You have to earn their followership. People are rightly choosy about who they let lead them. It's not given freely. You have to earn the right to lead.
How do you earn that right? Think of the kind of person you'd love to follow and go be that person.
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
“Every single good thing I've unlocked in my life came from overcoming the fear of looking stupid as a beginner."
Dickie Bush
We all are victims of what psychologists call the Spotlight Effect. The Spotlight Effect is the phenomenon where we perceive that other people are thinking about us WAY more than they actually are. There are lots of negative consequences from our falling victim to this, but almost all of them involve actions made out of fear and self-consciousness.
Too often, we make fear-based decisions due to overestimating how often and what people are thinking of us. The cold truth: 99.9999999999999999% of the world isn't thinking about you. And the ones that are aren't thinking about you that often.
So stop worrying. Make decisions based on what makes you happy.
Remember:
Nobody is judging you for trying something new. Nobody thinks you are an imposter. They are way too busy thinking about themselves.
"You'll never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you. You'll always be criticized by someone doing less. Remember that." - Denzel Washington
Don't listen to criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice.
People project their insecurities. If your attempt at something new brings on gossip/criticism from others, you can chalk it up to their insecurity. It is a reflection on them, not you.
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.
Aaron @ The Disciple-Leader