How God Loves, What Leadership Costs, Rejecting Cynicism
Newsletter #9 on March 25, 2023
Discipleship // Leadership // Mental Performance. The best from this week.
DISCIPLESHIP
“We must understand that God does not 'love' us without liking us - through gritted teeth - as 'Christian' love is sometimes thought to do. Rather, out of the eternal freshness of his perpetually self-renewed being, the Heavenly Father cherishes the earth and each human being upon it. The fondness, the endearment, the unstintingly affectionate regard of God toward all his creatures is the natural outflow of what he is to the core - which we vainly try to capture with our tired but indispensable old word 'love'."
Dallas Willard
As Christians, we are taught to love everyone. However, as humans, that can seem impossible. There are so many people that can be, well, hard to love.
We have all heard the idea that we can love someone (love as a verb) without liking them. And honestly, that's a pretty admirable thing to do. Most of the time, we actually experience love the feeling AFTER giving love the verb.
Sometimes as humans, that's the best we can do.
The mistake comes in thinking this is how God loves. It's not.
His love is endless. It flows continually. It is affectionate. Alma counseled us to "let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever." God wouldn't ask us to do or be anything that He doesn't already perfectly embody. The affections of God's heart are placed upon you. Forever.
When this verse was translated, the dictionary at the time (Webster's 1828) gave a couple of definitions of affection. One was simply: "passion". Another was, "love or zealous attachment".
God doesn't just love you because He created you and He's required to. That's not His character. God is passionate about you. He has a zealous attachment to you. He cleaves unto you (Jacob 6:5). Nothing in this world matters more to Him than you're safe arrival back to Him.
Whatever you're going through, always remember the infinite adoration and affection God has for you.
Yes, you.
LEADERSHIP
“The cost of leadership is self-interest.”
Simon Sinek
The law of opportunity cost envelopes every aspect of our lives. Everything comes at a cost. Nothing in life is free.
Whether your choices cost money, time, energy, or something else, the one constant is that it's not free. It has a price.
Everything costs something.
The cost of reading is less TV time. The cost of not reading is not learning.
The cost of dating is potential heartbreak. The cost of not dating is never finding someone.
The cost of eating healthy is sweet-tasting food. The cost of eating junk food is a healthy body.
You can be selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed. Or you can be a leader. You can't have both. They each come at a cost.
There is no such thing as a self-absorbed leader. There might be an individual in a position of authority that is self-absorbed. Or someone with power and influence who is selfish. But authority, power, and influence are not synonymous with leadership.
A leader is selfless, others-centered, and others-absorbed.
The cost of leadership is self-interest.
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
"My advice for expecting parents: Reject the cynicism. There's a weird trend of cynicism around becoming a parent: 'Have fun never sleeping!' 'Hope you got your fun in!'
It's dumb. The good outweighs the bad by 1000x. The frictions are a tiny tax on the joy it brings."Sahil Bloom
My wife and I aren't parents yet. But a lot of our friends are. Almost all of our siblings are. We receive a lot of parental advice. We also receive a lot of "warnings" about parenting.
I've never liked the warnings. I've never liked the cynicism. There's nothing inspiring about cynicism. There's no joy or fun in it. Cynicism is just so easy and default-state. It's boring.
I don't have to be told all the bad things about being a parent to know there are going to be really tough, challenging times ahead. Of course I know that. I also believe in confirmation bias. Whatever you believe about your situation, you will find evidence to confirm that belief.
Believe parenting is the worst, and you'll find evidence to confirm that.
Believe parenting is the best, and you'll find evidence to confirm that.
This is true for everything.
Eating healthier and working out. Tell yourself how annoying it is, and you'll find evidence for that. Tell yourself how great it is, and you'll find evidence for that.
Starting a side hustle or business. Tell yourself how impossible it is, and you'll find evidence for that. Tell yourself how exciting it is, and you'll find evidence for that.
Having a happy marriage. Tell yourself how inconvenient it is, and you'll find evidence for that. Tell yourself how rewarding it is, and you'll find evidence for that.
Going to School. Tell yourself how lame it is, and you'll find evidence for that. Tell yourself what a privilege it is, and you'll find evidence for that.
Any creative act and endeavor. Tell yourself about your writer's block, and you'll find evidence for that. Tell yourself how soul-renewing it is, and you'll find evidence for that.
Anything worth doing will inevitably have really hard things come with it. Nothing worth doing is easy.
But that doesn't mean:
You have to be cynical in what you share with others.
You have to accept the cynicism others share with you.
The frictions are just a tiny tax on the joy of important, hard things. Don't believe the cynicism.
3 Questions
1) What are some things that you believe God doesn't just love, but really likes about you?
2) What self-interest is stifling you from your leadership potential?
3) What cynicism about a future endeavor have you accepted that you should reject?
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.
Have an amazing week.
Aaron @ The Disciple-Leader