What We Really Worship, Amplifying Others, Defining Mental Toughness
Newsletter # 7 on March 11, 2023.
Discipleship // Leadership // Mental Performance. The best from this week.
DISCIPLESHIP
Being gifted is great. As long as your gift doesn't become your God.
Noah Herrin
Your god is whatever you worship. You might say that you worship God, but what do you really worship?
David Foster Wallace taught this brilliant insight: "In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship."
The original Webster's dictionary defined worship as "to adore". Jesus said, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Russell M. Nelson taught, "Take an inventory of how you spend your time and where you devote your energy. That will tell you where your heart is."
Thus, whatever our heart is set upon, that is what we worship. That is our god.
Certain things are really tempting to set our hearts upon and worship. Here are a few:
Dreams, Goals, Aspirations
Career Success
Money
Notoriety
A Significant Other
Politics
Sports
I love that Jesus used the word "treasure". You know deep down what you really treasure. What you really care about. The thing that occupies your mind most often. Don't get me wrong ... all these things are great. Dreams, aspirations, money, politics, sports, etc. They are great as long as they don't become your God.
If you want to know what it looks like to make God your god, this teaching is the best I've found:
"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 37).
This is what worshipping God looks like. This is what treasuring Him looks like.
LEADERSHIP
So much of leadership ability is about how other people experience themselves in your presence. A great leader has a presence that makes other people bigger.
Jennifer Garvey Berger
This week, a mentor of mine was traveling through town and asked if he and his wife could stop by and visit. This man has had an enormously successful career, has a great family, and has a lot of things I hope to one day have. I watched him out the window as he and his wife pulled up to our small apartment in his brand-new gorgeous Tesla.
They came in and spent about 20 minutes with us. My interaction with him was the same as it has always been. The whole visit he was just locked in on me. He has a way of making you feel so special. So loved. So important. He has a way of implanting optimism and hope and belief into people. Every time I'm with him, I feel lifted and better about life. His total focus is on maximizing his interaction with you. His total focus is on you.
There are two opposing models of leadership. One form, which is celebrated and glamorized in today's world is a more charismatic style of leadership. This type of leader makes themselves come across as very impressive. They are the star of the show. They attract everyone's attention. They make you feel good about THEM. The focus is on THEM. You know leaders like this. Very charismatic, very impressive. When you leave an interaction with them or you leave a room with them, you're left feeling sad and envious of them. You leave feeling, "Wow, I wish I had their life." Or, "Wow, they have everything going for them. They've got it all together." And you actually leave the interaction feeling discouraged.
The other model is a more amplifying style of leadership. A truly great leader amplifies others. They make OTHERS bigger. They make OTHERS better. Instead of leaving an interaction thinking, "Wow, they are so impressive", you leave interactions thinking, "Wow, I really am special. I really have a lot going for me." Their focus isn't on amplifying themselves, but on amplifying others.
If anyone would have an excuse to be the first model of leader, it would be this mentor of mine. He's got it all. But he's not. He's the second kind. The amplifying leader. Which is why I love him being my mentor.
Both versions of leadership have an impact. The first version discourages. The second version encourages. It's a core law of leadership: Impressiveness doesn't impact; love does. Regardless of how charming, how charismatic, how impressive, how smart, or how talented you are, your impact is only as deep as your love.
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
Mental toughness often gets framed as grit, stubbornness, and discipline in the face of challenge. 'I'm going to force my way through it.' But I think there's another version of mental toughness which is flexibility and adaptability. Things like 'I can be happy no matter what I'm working on. I can be happy no matter who I'm hanging out with. I can make this work no matter what resources I have available.' Mindsets like that are actually very robust and resilient. They're very mentally tough. Because your mindset and your mood is not dependent on your conditions.
If your mood is dependent on your conditions, you're brittle. You're stuck. You're beholden to the situation and you're being held hostage by it. I don't want my happiness to be held hostage by the situation. I'm going to be happy no matter what I'm working on. I'm going to be happy no matter who I'm hanging out with.
James Clear
We often see mental toughness just as those hardcore qualities of grit, willpower, and discipline. But mental toughness entails so much more.
Optimism is mental toughness.
Hope is mental toughness.
Poise is mental toughness.
Faith is mental toughness.
Confidence is mental toughness.
Getting outside of yourself is mental toughness.
Gratitude is mental toughness.
Awe and Wonder are mental toughness.
There are many more qualities. We shouldn't have such a myopic view of mental toughness. The scriptural word for mental toughness is "firmness of mind." Jacob teaches, "Look unto God with firmness of mind." This means looking unto Him with hope, faith, awe, gratitude, etc.
Everything we do should be approached with firmness of mind. With hope, belief, optimism, gratitude, and insert anything else that would fit under the umbrella of mental toughness.
3 Questions
1) In the day-to-day trenches of your life, what/whom do you really worship?
2) Are you amplifying yourself or amplifying others?
3) What do you need to approach with more mental toughness?
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.
Have an amazing week, friends.
Aaron @ The Disciple-Leader