What Self-Help Lacks, How To See Others, The Confidence Formula
Newsletter #4 on February 18, 2023.
Discipleship // Leadership // Mental Performance. The best from this week.
DISCIPLESHIP
There’s a lot of weird theology in the church that isn’t in the Bible, like ‘God will never put you in a situation that you can’t handle.’ Wrong! God loves to put you in situations that you can’t handle. But He will never put you in a situation that He can’t handle.
Louie Giglio
One of my favorite aspects of the gospel of Jesus Christ is its ability to flip the self-help industry on its head. The gospel isn’t anti-self-help. But it is anti-only-self-help. Jesus never taught self-help. He taught God-help.
Most self-help pundits will preach the gospel of grit, willpower, and discipline. No part of me is criticizing self-help. But Jesus never mentioned “self-help”. He was clear on where we should seek help
I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing (John 15).
If ye will have faith in me, ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me (Moroni 7:33).
I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst (John 6).
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4).
Self-help goes skin deep.
God-help goes soul deep.
"The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."
LEADERSHIP
"Train your mind to see in all people, what they do not see in themselves. Begin to treat every person you come in contact with as the most important person in the world. Look at them with a new awareness."
Bob Proctor
C.S. Lewis put it this way: Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.
Jesus put it this way: Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Lesson: Nothing is more important than the person next to you. Even though we might know this, it can be so easy for us to revert back to our self-centered ways when we're around people. We bury ourselves in our phones. Treat others like their lives and hearts are unimportant to us. We are absorbed in ourselves.
Here’s a principle that helps me to snap out of that mindset: Treat everyone in the same way you treated your spouse when you were dating.
Not romantically.
But remember the effort you put into that relationship? The attention you gave? The interest you showed? The love they felt?
Treat those you’re with that same interest, effort, love, and attention. Watch the difference it makes in your leadership.
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
Do you know how to build confidence? Preparation is the first part. It’s necessary. It’s required … and then you need to have a command on how you speak to yourself about yourself and about the challenge.
Dr. Michael Gervais
His Two Step Formula
Preparation. Putting in the work. This is the main separator and ingredient needed for confidence. This is what makes you good.
Self-Talk. This is what separates the good from the great.
Gervais told of his experience with Olympians. Anybody who makes the Olympics has PUT IN THE WORK. They’ve done the preparation. Yet, some get very nervous while others remain confident. Why? Self-Talk.
Just like shooting hoops, confidence is a skill that can be learned and developed. It’s not inherent. It’s earned. And while the formula isn’t easy, it is simple: Preparation and Self-Talk.
Self-Talk without preparation is fake. It's baseless, without foundation. It's not grounded in truth. And if it's not grounded in truth, you won't believe what you tell yourself.
A disciple-leader would employ this psychological principle, and add revealed truth about how confidence is built. “In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence” (Proverbs 14:26).
The Disciple-Leader's Confidence Formula:
Preparation.
Self-Talk.
Fear God, which is "to feel reverence and awe for Him and to obey His commandments" (Guide To The Scriptures).
Put another way: Reps + Positive Self-Talk + Identity Grounded in Christ = REAL CONFIDENCE.
3 Questions
1) What is God asking you to do that you could only accomplish with His help?
2) How can you train your mind to see others as more important than you currently see them?
3) How can you apply this 3-step formula to your performance this week?
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.
Have an amazing week, friends.
Aaron @ The Disciple-Leader