How God Sees You, Inverse Charisma, The Pursuit of Excellence
The Disciple-Leader Newsletter #39 // October 21, 2023.
Discipleship. Leadership. Mental Performance.
DISCIPLESHIP
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Psalm 139:14
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. What does that mean?
The English word "fearfully" in this verse was translated from the Hebrew word yare (ירא). The meaning of this word is to revere.
To revere is to have deep admiration, deep respect, and heart-felt interest. To revere is to honor. To cherish. To stand in awe.
The English word "wonderfully" in this verse was translated from the Hebrew word pala (פָלָא). The meaning of this word is to be extraordinary. To be unique, set apart, and distinct.
The restored gospel expands this even more. Not only did God create you with reverence and wonder (like how a musician or artist would feel towards the greatest of their songs or paintings), but you are the literal spiritual offspring of the King and Queen of Heaven. They feel about you how you feel about your child, multiplied by infinity.
To use Book of Mormon language, They have a perfect brightness of awe, admiration, respect, and interest in you. To Them, you are a marvel! A miracle. Their work and glory (Moses 1:39).
Contrast this truth to one of the many prevailing contemporary attitudes about who you are. One commenter on a New York Times article on the meaning of life wrote, "When the Hubble space telescope pointed to a black spot in the sky about the size of an eraser head for a week it found 30,000 galaxies over 13 billion years old with many trillions of stars and many many more trillions of inferred planets. So how significant are you? ... You are not a unique snowflake, you are not special, you are just another piece of decaying matter on the compost pile of this world. Nothing of who you are and what you will do in the short time you are here will matter. Everything short of that realization is vanity."
So what do you believe?
You might not be quite as nihilistic as this writer, but maybe you feel at times your life is insignificant. Maybe you lack purpose. Maybe you wonder how much God really knows and cares about you. If you have ever felt to sing the song of redeeming love, do you feel that way now?
I witness that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God is as in love with you and as interested in your well-being now as He was when He created you. He listens when you pray. He wants a firm, strong, and eternal connection to and relationship with you.
“Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (D&C 88:63)
You are loved by God. More so than you could possibly dream of. Do the work to have this knowledge and conviction. I promise you it is worth it.
LEADERSHIP
“To speak with him was to be seduced by an inverse charisma, a sense of being listened to with such intensity that you had to be your most honest, sharpest, and best self.”
Wendy Moffat on E.M. Forster
Isn't that an incredible phrase –– inverse charisma?
It's the idea that when you talk to someone, you don't leave the interaction feeling overwhelmed with how impressive they are. You leave the interaction feeling encouraged by how impressive you are. You realize how special you are. They make you feel like the most important and interesting person in the world.
Way too many people are laser-focused on convincing others, "Hey, look how great I am!"
Way too few people are laser-focused on convincing others, "Hey, look how incredible you are."
Be that person.
MENTAL PERFORMANCE
"We kind of have a younger generation now that doesn’t always get told no. They don’t always get told this is exactly how you need to do it. So they have this illusion that they have all these choices. The fact of the matter is if you want to be good, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.”
Nick Saban
Alexander Hamilton, one of the most prolific writers and thinkers in American history, wrote, "Men give me some credit for genius. All the genius I have lies in this: When I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. I explore it in all its bearings."
There are hundreds of quotes from other high-performers that highlight this exact same principle: You never become great by accident. You never just drift into excellence.
Alexander Hamilton's expertise was not a result of any natural talent or genius. It flowed downstream from his choices.
Day and night, he said, his subject was before him. He studied it profoundly. He simply couldn't have become what he became if he made other choices. If he spent his free time binging Netflix, scrolling Instagram, or wasting time on lesser pursuits, he could not have done what he did.
Excellence takes what it takes.
If you want to be a powerful writer, you really don’t have a lot of choices. It takes what it takes.
If you want to run a marathon, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.
If you want to lose weight, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.
If you want to start a business, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.
If you want to save money, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.
If you want to become like Jesus Christ, you really don’t have a lot of choices because it takes what it takes.
What matters most to you? Get clear on that and then get comfortable with the idea that you can't just do whatever you want. You are not the exception.
Are the habits you have today on par with the dreams that you have for tomorrow?
If not, you have two choices. Change your habits or change your dreams. Because it takes what it takes.
Disciple-Leadership: Jesus-led. Lead like Jesus.